Kitchen Utensils Unleashed.

Yo. I'm back.

This piece of Mirandomness is about kitchen utensils. And why most of them are evil.

Don't laugh.

I'm serious.

Some of you may be thinking "How are kitchen utensils evil?"

Well I'll tell you.

It all started with the invention of the Spork. You know, that odd Fork/Scaboon combination that comes with your refried beans at Taco Bell? No one is quite sure who was responsible for its invention, but I'm sure they ended up regretting it. Because Sporks turned out to be malicious.

(It probably stemmed from its identity crisis. Does it go with the Forks? With the Scaboons? We were very confuzzled.)

Well, the Scaboons and the Forks did not like the Sporks either. Think Frankenstien. This thing should not exist. The Knifes didn't really care either way. But then again, they don't really care about much. They're more the stone wall type.

Anywho, back to the Forks and Scaboons. They decided that the issue needed to be taken to the Mixer.

The Mixer listened to both side of the tale. It thought for awhile on the best route to take. He then decided that since the Forks and Scaboons had been around longer, he would take their side.

The Sporks were sentenced to death by Cheese Grater.

(Told you that most utensils are evil. Actually, the only ones who aren't evil are the pizza cutters, the ice cream scoop, and the chicken baster.)

So the Forks and the Scaboons hired the Wooden Scaboons and Spatulas to round up the Sporks and execute them via Cheese Grater.

What they didn't know was that the Sporks knew Kung Fu.

To make a long and epic battle short, the Sporks got away. They retreated to taco restaurants everywhere. But they vowed to someday take revenge.

And the REAL problem is that Sporks can hold a grudge. The Forks and Scaboons operate more on an out-of-sight-out-of-mind deal. They forgot all about the Sporks once they were no longer there.

But the Sporks didn't forget. They're biding their time.  Consider yourself warned.

Goodbye. Miranda out.